Everyone has their phobias

[angelchicken]

And that is why right now, instead of getting ready to board my flight to New York, I am waiting to get a 9:30pm train to New York.
I just could not get on the plane. I got all the way to the airport and had to turn around.

I hate this. I hate how crippling and *limiting* this is.

But sometimes you have to just take care of yourself. And tomorrow there are things I would have liked to do, but nothing pressing until tomorrow night. And I might even be able to make the event tomorrow night.

This fear of flying, I need to do something about it. Because I want to go to England and Australia, at least.

And I know that a two hour flight to New York is nothing and I know all of the logic and all of the physics and I am embarrassed and frustrated by the whole thing.

But I also know how to take care of me. Twenty hours on a train is something I can do. Have done.

And I'll be getting on a plane in three weeks when my family returns from Cape Cod. But I will have my family with me and that will help.

I woke up panicking this morning and .5mg of Xanax didn't even help a little bit, which isn't usually the case.

So, a train. Choo choo.

Fuck. I hate this.

But I feel so immensely better, so it's worth it.

Stupid planes.

Comments

[sunbrae.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweet friend.
This is something I really need to conquer. Just not today. *hugs*

[dionneshea.livejournal.com]

I hear you. I am not a fan of flying, but I also never know how I'm going to react. San Diego last year? Flipped out. There was almost an incident. Then home for Christmas was no big thing. Did not enjoy flying to L.A. in May, and was all nervous about flying to Chicago, but that turned out to be just fine. My friend takes an Ativan before flying. I'm not sure of what other badness the drug might do, but it seems to work for them.

I kinda love trains. I probably would have taken a train regardless.

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

I love trains, too! Which is why I'm like, "dammit! Why did I spend money on the plane when I would have been happier on a train and also I would have left yesterday and gotten in today and maybe been able to a sleeper car.
Oh well. At least I'm still getting there.

And last year I went to Seattle, a much longer flight, and was fine. I know how you feel: I never know how I will react to a flight. I feel it's 50/50 with me.
I wish this wasn't my fear, though. It would make everything easier. Feh.

[ghoulchick.livejournal.com]

Anxiety is no joke. At the height of mine, I could hardly be in a car, even as a passenger in a 25 mph zone, and could not drive at all. Don't feel badly about doing what you have to do.

Just think... not very long ago in human history, you wouldn't even have had the train option... you'd be hoofing it and/or in a wagon train, and it would take months or years. So 20 hours really isn't that much, as that goes.

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know. I am not a good passenger in a car, but I am REALLY terrible (maybe half the time) on a plane. I never know how it's going to be. I've done this before, that's for sure. I just wish I had realized it ahead of time and just gotten the train ticket and been done with it.
When the anxiety overwhelms the anti-anxiety medication then I know I have to take care of me.
Upside: I am putting HP:GoF on my iPod so I can listen whilst I gaze out the window (when the sun comes up, that is). Ahhhhhhhhh, relaxing.

[juliedarling.livejournal.com]

:( *hugs*

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

Stop beating yourself up! Anyway, trains are fun.

[fleetpete.livejournal.com]

*gaaaasp!* You get to take the Hogwarts Express! Jealous!

Quibbler anyone?

Did i tell you about my idea for teleportation?