This and that . . .

[angelchicken]

I think I'm done with guys for a while. D (he has been demoted to just D. He doesn't deserve the '+') and I are friends, which is good. Because I was falling into old habits and we just did the whole strained conversation thing and while I am still of a mind where he sucks quite a lot at least I am secure on where we stand. My two biggest fears are being an intrusion or burden and being an afterthought. And I was starting to feel like I was a little bit of both with him and I wasn't happy with that at all and so at least there was conversation *before* it became a resentful situation on either of our parts so friendship can be achieved.

Good.

But still. It hurts. It's a hurting thing and I'm a little bit hurt and I don't like the feeling. I'm not all that happy being me right now, though I'm not feeling any sort of great despair or heartbreak there is still a sting. I like him. I still do. But, you know, whatever.

On the plus side, not dating him anymore means I am less likely to eat crap every weekend which in turn makes me gain weight which in turn sucks*.

So there's that.

Okay, i think I might take a bath and then crawl into bed and read Dresden all night. That sounds lovely. And if I feel like dozing I will.

And maybe tomorrow I'll take out my bike. It's lovely here and I want to take advantage. Also, I want to get a pedicure so I think I'll do that tomorrow, too.

Huh. Sudden realization. Crappy things happen a few days after I get a massage. That's no good. Because the last time I got a massage I got fired four days later and then I got one on Thursday and now the thing with D. Or maybe it's just massages I don't pay full price for. I'm not sure this is something I want to test but if anyone wanted to send me free massages I suppose I could deal. ;)

Okay. Time to do . . . something.

* The exception being tonight because the one time that frozen pizza and ice cream are definitely allowed is when were just kind of dumped. Not a lot of either, like not a whole pie and whole pint, but some. Because tonight I wallow, damn it.

Comments

[abby20.livejournal.com]

Miss AC! I just want you to know that I've sucked at commenting in your journal lately, but 1) I'm reading, 2) Your hair is SO CUTE, 3) I adore you, 3.5) you are wonderful. ::snuggles::

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

Oh, Miss Abby, she of my favorite girl name, I suck at commenting *always* as I'm sure you know, but I read you, too and think you are wonderful and adorable and I snuggle and hug you and thank you for the love.

And I am quite loving my flippy hair. SO FUN!

[dreago.livejournal.com]

I don't think it is the massages. I think it is the timing of the massages. Maybe a part of you knows something icky is on the horizon, so you treat yourself to a massage to prepare and then BAM, ickyness.

You've got ESP!

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

Dude, that is the best comment ever. Oh my gosh, I'm psychic! That *rocks!*

[shadowlass.livejournal.com]

Aww, sweetie. I know it's not fun right now (although I originally typed it as "it' snot fun right now," which actually is kind of fun), but now you have a new friend without the stresses of your former relationship with him. Wallow tonight, then forget about it.

*snuggles AC*

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

Heh. Snot.

I know. And I am okay (well, I'm embracing the wallow) and I'll get it out of my sistem and be fine. But it is still sucky, I have to say. Stupid boys.

[sunbrae.livejournal.com]

My two biggest fears are being an intrusion or burden and being an afterthought.

I can't even tell you how close-to-home this hits.

*hugs* & *loves you very much*

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

You are so wonderful

[jennlynnster.livejournal.com]

::great big hugs:: Here's hoping today is much better.

[katesti.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie. *hugs*

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: I'm sorry this is how it ended, but you're fab, and there's going to be a guy who's smart enough not only to recognize it but to tell you how he feels. I believe, and I hope you believe, too.