Gemological Goddess

Children who were born on the day my dad died are now legal adults.
18 years. Time really flies.
I still miss him. I still can't believe he died.
Life does go on, but the hole will always be there.
I miss you, Dad. I wish you were here.

Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people in the world! sunbrae you are so strong and and smart and funny and sweet and beautiful and in incredibly brave and inspiring woman and I am so, so happy to have you in my life. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you to infinity!

I have never been so excited and so sad for a movie to come out, ever. I want to see it so desperately, but when I do that means it's almost over and I will have to wait EIGHT MONTHS for the next part and the final movie will kill me dead, I know it, I just do.

The new trailer:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part One

Dead. I am dead.

I think school is going to be an amazing experience.

Homework, I am having problems getting behind. But that has always been the case. School, so far, seems great. I especially like my Thursday morning Social Justice class. The professor is engaging and funny and the content is so important and so interesting.

Now I just need to (wo)man up and cold call some schools. I can't observe myself! And Pierce is too young.

Speaking of, Pierce can now not only roll from his tummy to his back, but also from his back to his tummy.

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha!

This means he's mobile.

It begins . . .



Don't let the smile fool you . . .


He will gum you, but good!
(I see this look a lot. Usually right before he latches onto a finger and starts gnawing. He's like a little dog with a bone. It cracks me up, but that is probably because he hasn't gotten his teeth yet).

Well, my Summer vacation has drawn to a close. Now it's just a weekend. Because I have school on Monday.

And that is awesome.

And terrifying.

In May I made a plan for myself, involving an abundance of Pierce time and Mom and Jenny time, some serious snoozing, some friend visits, visiting some friends, a few important tests to get into graduate school, a good amount of time in New York and a family vacation in Cape Cod.

And you know what?

Everything I planned worked. It all happened. It was all great. I had an amazing Summer, a truly fantastic three months and I am so, so lucky for it.

And Fall! Oh my gosh, Autumn is going to be so interesting and overwhelming and scary and, I hope, wonderful.

I'm going to graduate school! I'm going to teach elementary school! It feels so right! I'll be spending one day a week in a grade school observing children and planning lessons and all of the things that teachers do.

I want to get a part-time data entry job (something mindless, for okay money, that I can do without a ton of human interaction. Sales is a no go) to supplement my (nonexistent) income. I'm also, hopefully, going to spend one day, or afternoon, a week watching Pierce which is what I want most of all.

I'm going to continue with guitar, which I am loving (OMG! I learned a bar chord! That is so badass).

And starting at the end of the month I am going to spend one night a week in the play center of Childrens Memorial Hospital, hanging out with four to eleven-year-old patients and their families. Volunteering for Childrens is something I have wanted to do for a while (I put my name in last October. It's a looooooooooooooong wait list) and god called last week.

I actually had an option: children four to eleven or babies, newborn to three. I opted for the older children because while I love and adore babies I have PK and seeing babies his age who are so sick is something I won't be able to handle. Also, the older children are the ones I want to teach, so what a wonderful way to start to connect.

I'm so incredibly excited about this. It feels . . . important. Like I will be helping and making a difference.

So, my weeks will be full, hooray!

Now I just need to figure out something to do on my weekends. My sister is getting hard-assed about me having things to do on a Saturday night. She won't let me babysit because she thinks I need a fuller social life.

Which, okay, I do.

I babysat Pierce yesterday, though. It was fairly easy. He slept pretty much the entire time. Actually, I ended up waking him up at 7:00pm because he had been asleep for almost three hours and needed to eat.

Let me tell you, Hell hath no fury like a woken-up PK. He was starving and sleepy and I should have fed him first, but I didn't. I changed his diaper and put him in his jammers and he lay on that changing table as furious as I have ever seen him, screaming his fool head off and just flat out pissed.

I wasn't laughing at him because I was distressed at his distress, but when he calmed (ate) and I reflected on it, I did laugh because when he is that angry and crying that hard he looks like he is about 80-years-old and is is SO FUNNY! It is not cute at all which makes it EVEN CUTER.

I don't even know how that works.

But he ate, gave me some smiles, and went back to bed.

It was a nice night.

It's a sleepy, rainy day and I am not making much of an effort to do anything. I am going out tonight, which will be fun (I hope) and then tomorrow will be me getting ready for the big day! I feel like I should have a backpack and a box of crayons!

xoxoxoxo

My three week odyssey of adventure and relaxation and weddings and beaches and Step Up 3D and lobster and babies and old friends and SO MUCH MORE has drawn to a close.

While it is nice to be home, certainly, I really wouldn't have had a problem with staying in Cape Cod for another few days. Especially as we had four days of overcast and miserable rain (though Thursday and Friday were beautiful) and despite the actual tan I am sporting, a little more salt water and (muchly) unpolluted air would not have been a bad thing.

And I did so like such easy access to Little Baby.

And being two blocks from the Atlantic Ocean. And a five minute walk to town and the local coffee shop my sister and I stopped in every morning (srsly- by the end of the week we were regulars. Bliss!)

It is nice to be home again with my sweet girl who I did miss so much! And I did have four (!) checks in the mail from Apple rebate and Ye Olde Job. So those don't suck.

And while I was on vacation I did get my official acceptance to graduate school as well as my official results for my Illinois Basic Skills Test (285/300). And I got 11 out of 12 on the essay! That means my essay was good! I knew it was passable but now I just feel like hot shit.

So, it's been a really wonderful three weeks and I am thrilled that I have something to come back to and I am going to get in touch with Childrens Memorial about volunteering during the week now that my schedule is more open and I will get a part time job (I hope!) and take Pierce once a week and all in all the Fall is going to be AWESOME!

But vacation was pretty fantastic. Hopefully we can go back next year. I'm definitely crossing my fingers.

So! I have had internet access, but it's been somewhat spotty. What's up? What's new? How are things?

This is a good city. A great city. A FANTASTIC city.

I am really enjoying my stay.

Also, because I am staying at my friends place I can be a lazy ass and stay in bed until two without feeling guilt or ramifications or anything. I can just chillax. This is especially good as I have been a wee bit under the weather this week. BOO! I was all sniffley and wasn't sleeping well, so I have been sleeping HARD in the mornings, usually between eight and eleven. I keep waking up during the night and I don't want to be a Sleepy McGee when I do see my friends in the afternoon.

I have seen old friends and met babies (some of which were WEE! Lil' Katie couldn't have been more then nine pounds and had a tiny head and was all cheek. SO CUTE!) and revisited some of my favorite neighborhoods and I think I am going to be wandering around Central Park this evening and then tomorrow I will be headed to Connecticut with the_lbb and her fella to meet anothe college suitemate I haven't seen in years and years.

It'll be awesome, this I know.

I have also revisited favorite food places, which is always fun. There is a place around the corner from where I am staying that make AMAZING empanadas and there is the Bouchon place which is decedent and delicious AND I went to Rice to Riches because I was in the area and any store the successfully sells 20 different flavors of rice pudding is all right by me. I got some of the good ol' cinnamon raisin do not regret a bite. Especially since I have been walking a lot. Which is lovely. I love walking in New York because it is always so interesting and seamless and I miss that. Chicago has so much space there isn't really a way to walk from neighborhood to neighborhood without passing through a lot of residential space. And while that I lovely as well, it does tend to get repetitive after a bit.

Well, as it's officially two o'clock I should probably jump in the shower and make myself presentable for any future events. Even if I just hang out until I meet up in the city at least I will be hanging out ready to go.

Which is something.

Or something.

OH! I emailed guitar guy this morning (finally) and he emailed me back pretty quickly. Whee! Communication is awesome. And he signed up for the next guitar session even though he said he wasn't going to. I like to think it's because I called him a punk, but I only called him that this morning and he signed up a wee bit back.
Either way, it's all good.

PEACE

And that is why right now, instead of getting ready to board my flight to New York, I am waiting to get a 9:30pm train to New York.
I just could not get on the plane. I got all the way to the airport and had to turn around.

I hate this. I hate how crippling and *limiting* this is.

But sometimes you have to just take care of yourself. And tomorrow there are things I would have liked to do, but nothing pressing until tomorrow night. And I might even be able to make the event tomorrow night.

This fear of flying, I need to do something about it. Because I want to go to England and Australia, at least.

And I know that a two hour flight to New York is nothing and I know all of the logic and all of the physics and I am embarrassed and frustrated by the whole thing.

But I also know how to take care of me. Twenty hours on a train is something I can do. Have done.

And I'll be getting on a plane in three weeks when my family returns from Cape Cod. But I will have my family with me and that will help.

I woke up panicking this morning and .5mg of Xanax didn't even help a little bit, which isn't usually the case.

So, a train. Choo choo.

Fuck. I hate this.

But I feel so immensely better, so it's worth it.

Stupid planes.

Hermione Ginger is dead!

LONG LIVE HERMIONE GINGER Junior!

So last night my computer had enough. Was sick of all of my, "I wanna read this", and. "I wanna download that", nonsense and just gave up, gave in, got out.

Spectacular crash begot Blue Screen of Death begot death throes involving the computer constantly restarting on a continuous loop.

It wasn't pretty.

Of course I panicked and called my mom at ten o'clock to say, "OMG MUST MAKE GENIUS BAR APPOINTMENT NOW PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!" and she did and so I went today at 1:20.

It was a long 15 hours, let me tell you.

Anywhoodle, I went and laid it out. "Genius", I said, "I am planning on getting a new computer in a month because I need it for school and also this 30GB is for the birds. Is it worth it to get a new computer now or wait and repair the one I currently have that is five-and-a-half-years-old and wonderful but, but, but . . . "

And Genius said, "New computer. Unless you want to spend $300 now and then however much a new computer is in a month".

And I voted new computer. Because I am wise.

"But Genius!", I said, "I have things! Things on old computer that I want to save! I just spent $2.58 on two songs at iTunes! Is there any way to get them on my external hard drive even though old computer is in the throes of death?"

And Genius said there was and he did.

And, holy crap, I got home, hooked up my external hard drive and was able to copy everything from the old computer onto the new one.

IT EVEN REMEMBERED MY OLD FIREFOX SESSION AND RESTORED IT! FROM AN OLD COMPUTER THROUGH MY EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE! HOLY SHIT!

All of my bookmarks, all of the tabs I had open, everything, all here.

AND, I was able to get an I'm-about-to-be-a-student-here-is-my-not-acceptance-letter discount on both the computer AND the extended warranty.

AND I paid for a printer (need) and iPod Nano (probably don't need) which will be FULLY REFUNDED through a rebate!

I have names my new computer Hermione Ginger Junior (Junior for short) because Hermione Ginger was so good to me and I loved her and spent so much time with her. So she is honored in that way.

And my iPod is red.

And my printer also copies and scans (though I can't say how well).

And I will be getting a check in the next some-odd weeks.

Banner day, is what I am saying.

Well, I think I did. Well, I think I passed. Well, I hope I passed. I should have passed. I mean, I passed the practice tests and the actual test really wasn't any harder then those.

I might have gone a bit conspiracy-theorist and thrown in some unnecessary Orwell in the conclusion of my essay, but I just figure that makes it memorable. Or something.

Fractions continue to defeat me. What is 1/3 of 1/4? In fraction form? Because that is the question I spent the most time on.

And, of course, if the question was easy I thought it was a trick and if the question was crazy hard I thought it was a trick and I had to take some 50/50 stabs but I answered everything and my essay was five paragraphs (actually six, but so was the sample essay I read so I figure I'm good) and on the essay I need to get a 5 out of 12 and I need to get 50% on Literature and Reading Comprehension (90 questions) and 30% on math (35 questions) so I think (hope) I'm good.

I'm just so happy it's no longer hanging over my head. Yipee!