My mind sometimes thinks of things without me

[angelchicken]

If I was ever to be a stripper, I think the song that would be my signature song is "Black Velvet" by _________ (anyone?)(She's one of those artists were when I hear it I am like "Yes! Of course!" but I can never recall her off the top of my head). I think the song is so incredibly sexy and stuff. I would also strip to "Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down. Maybe. I know that Kryptonite is my sexy club dance song should I ever go to a club and dance sexy.

Of course, I could never be a stripper because I have crappy knees and I am under the impression that One needs to be able to do the knee bendy squaty type thing to strip.
Blast! Another dream dashed! How ever shall I go on?

And the sad thing is, if I was a stripper I would probably making boatloads of money (as strippers are wont to do. Well, if they work in 'Gentleman's Club' type strip clubs, which I would ) but as a temp I am making crap money and thinking about things like how I would make so much more money as a stripper.

And I would probably have to drop some pounds (like twenty or more) and firm up things like my tum-tum, legs, arms, bottom. You know. Everything. Except maybe my feet which are pretty nice.

Is it Friday yet?

Comments

[dramagirl42.livejournal.com]

Her nam is Alanah Myles, but I'm sure my spelling has butchered it completely. :)

Also, if you can't be a stripper, why not be a pimp or a madam? All the glamour, money, and sleaze of being a stripper, without the taxing work on your knees.

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And I totally wouldn't have remembered that off the top of my head. But I knew I knew her name!

I was thinking of madam. Glamour, money, pretty people and lots of kinks. Jolly good fun all around.

The AngelChicken Bordello. Has a nice ring to it, I think. Or maybe La Mansion De AngePoulet. (Thank you InterTran, for giving my imaginary whorehouse a touch of French class!)

[ex-devilpigl935.livejournal.com]

After my very first visit to a strip club, which I blogged about but am too lazy to link, I decided that stripping was the way to go. You would not believe the kind of money these women bring home. Another advantage? I like to zone out for long periods of time. I think I could do that quite effectively if I was mostly only required to dance around a pole for income. Like, "Ooops, Oh My" by Tweet would be playing, and I'd be all bumping and grinding but in my head Spike and I are having a really intriguing philosophical discussion. Um, in the back of his DeSoto.

[dreago.livejournal.com]

Not that I'm advocating here, because I'm a good little puritan feminist, but the strip clubs they show on t.v. news are never filled with gorgeous women. I figure if a guy is desperate enough to pay for a view of naked women he can't touch in these days of the internet, then it doesn't matter what the girl looks like. Not that i'm saying you're so ugly or anything...just that you know, you don't have to be a playmate. Hee. Even playmates aren't perfect playmates, what with the airbrushing and calf extensions...

There was a point to this post. Somewhere.