A lesson learned is a gift indeed

[angelchicken]

Should the subject line have a comma after 'gift'? Grrr. Grammar sux. deeablo! Help!

So I learned a lot yesterday. And, because of my abundance of generosity and, well, let's face it, beautiful heart, I'm sharing it all with you. HA!

Lesson 1) Don't wear pants you just got back from the dry cleaner if you think it's going to rain AKA well that's $3.00 wasted. What a pain. Having nice, clean freshly pressed pants become a Pollack painting of mud and grime splashes, especially when you wear flip flops which takes me to . . .

Lesson 2) Don't wear flip flops if you think it's going to rain. Yes, it may seem like a practical wet weather shoe, but that's only if you don't value things like "traction" or "unbroken bones". I know, I know, I am such a prima donna, but I like my bones in one, unfractured piece and my ground solid below my feet. It's hard being so demanding. And walking through the Village/Union Square with flip flops was an interesting study in, uh, sidewalk textures and materials. As in, there are a lot of them. And many can be slippery when wet. Also, the flip flops, doing all their flipping and flopping, were probably a big contribution to the special splatter-paint design on my pants. Maybe I should just frame them and call it art and sell it under the title "Raining in New York" and make a fortune and have all the Art community Greats call me "The Next Big Thing" and then sell out when I get my own show but then redeem myself by flooding the city when I open all the hydrants and cover all the sewer entrances with doormats.

It could happen.

*

Dear Tom Cruise,

I have always loved you. I will always love you. I am just going to have to live with you being dead to me in real life and only accept your existence when the great Movie Gods wheel you out for the next Big Budget Action Flick of Little Plot. I fear, sweet Tom, that our time is up. But please know that I will always love you and remember you fondly.

I miss you already,

AC


Dear Katie Holmes,

Okay, you aren't exactly A-list. And I admit, I haven't always been you biggest fan- though to be fair, that may be mostly because I have major issues with Angel Potter and her Pure Truth and Well Verbalized Goodness that not even her mugger can deny. (Dude, she sang him to his death. I just . . . the mind boggles). But Sweetie? Get out. Get out damn fast. Your career isn't going to be helped by this, unless you want to spend the rest of your life being Katie Holmes who was married to Tom Cruise. You were his number five! You're better than that!

And for the Love of God - or should I say the love of aliens and the Almighty Dollar - get out before you become even more brainwashed. Now, I'm not one for denying anyone's beliefs, but Aliens being sent to earth and embodied in the human shell is a bit far fetched. Chris Klein was a better choice for you, 'cause even if he's dopey and B-list, at least he's a mental peer. Hell, Pacey Witter is a better choice for you and he doesn't even exist.

You really aren't helping your career. And a nice antibiotic ointment should clear that right up.

AC

*

Today I walked and walked and walked. Also, I bought a very cute Brooklyn onsie for my friend's baby. Yay! And I had what is quite possibly the best strawberry banana smoothie ever. And I got cookies from Sweet Melissa. Tonight Thai food at a good-by shindig for my friend who is leaving in OMG! Six days!!! *sobs*

This morning I woke up at seven thirty and lolled about in bed for two hours before facing the day. During that time I read back issues of SFX and came to the conclusion that a) James is now and always will be an uebergeek and I will always love him and b) nothing will ever replace Buffy for me. I miss my show.

Comments

[sunbrae.livejournal.com]

Chicken Art. I'd buy it.

Poor Katie. I think she's too caught up in the fairytale princess dream to see that Tom is crazy. That poor girl. I wonder what her good buddy Josh Jackson thinks? I wonder if there's a RP fiction community with Katie and Josh?

Mmm, cookies. Mmm, James. Mmm, James and cookies.

[certainthings.livejournal.com]

(Dude, she sang him to his death. I just . . . the mind boggles)

Sometimes I wish I had watched Dawson's Creek (or as I like to call it Pacey's Pond) because when I read that I just crack the fuck up.

[beerbad.livejournal.com]

nothing will ever replace Buffy for me.

Aw, same here. Though Firefly is trying very, very hard... hey, at least it's Jossverse ;)

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

Dude, Joss is God. It's all good.