At the same time . . .

It's not like I'm sitting in a pool of constant deptession. I mean, I'm mostly happy and I'm liking work and there are good things. It's just that fo so long I had people who were (and still are) my people in NY. And I saw them occasionally, but never felt like they wouldn't like hearing from me. And it's not like I think that peole here would scoff if I called someone and asked if they wanted to hang out.

Mostly.

I mean, I know a lot of people here, but I don't know anyone all that well and I'm really bad at being forward.

I just need to get over myself and my insecurities. So what if I meet people who are younger or older or have three heads or are friends with my sibs. Just because of all of the above, doesn't make me *less* in any way. How else do people meat people but through other people?

It's all very complicated in my head which is totally my doing. I need to untangle things in there . . .