It's the End of the World as We know it (And I Feel Fine)

[angelchicken]

Let me preface by saying that while I’d like to think I’d’ve been one of the people who stayed and huddled by a fire when the city froze and therefore survived thanks to the miracle of book burning and strangers clothes, the odds are I probably would have ended up one of the corpsicles that Jack and, er, Young Guy (Jason?) stumble across, assuming that I hadn’t drowned (or had my neck broken) by the wall of water pouring into the streets of Manhattan (and that’s a biiiig assumption).

So, next Ice Age? Don’t look for me on the other side.

Or, actually, do. Now that I’ve seen The Day After Tomorrow I feel confident in my ability to withstand any kind of hoo-haw Mother Nature decides to toss my way.

Now, onto the review:

Initial thought? OMG!!1! That was the best movie everrrrrrr!!!!!111!!!! Or would have been if it were about a half hour shorter.

- Loved the Scots in the weather center. They broke my heart. Especially Scot-with-new-baby. *sniffle*

- Felt a warm glow usually associated with overheating to the point of pain and possibly fuzzy bunnies doing it when the Vice-President turned President went all “I was wrong and am shamed”. Fucker coulda saved more people if he’d just listened to Jack in the first place. Does he not watch movies? Did he not see Independence Day?

Sorry, Dude. Too little, too late.

- Wolves? A bit too much. I mean, they are currently in the frozen tundra of what was once Manhattan. Did they really need to add that one more element of suspense? It was obvious that the wolves weren’t going to kill the freakin’ stars. Bah.

- Huh. How ‘bout some good? Like the special effects that were fucking incredible! The shots from outer space were insane and the wall of water overtaking New York! DUDE!! Just . . . dude. Love, love, loved it.

- Also? Loved the gratuitous ship docking on Fifth Avenue. Because a ship that big should be able to dock wherever the hell it wants too. It wants to cozy up to the New York Public Library? Then by all means. And if it’s a ship ex machina when they need meds for the stupid, stupid girl then by all means. If the boat floats, sail it.

- FRANK!!! NO!!!!!

- NASA chick was freaking gorgeous. And, of course, Sela Ward who is now and has always been stunning. Bobby+Falkner=4eva!!!111!! And Dennis Quaid has the prettiest eyes. Jake Whatzithaal is freaking hott-with-two-‘t’s in the new issue of EW, and he was quite the hottie in this movie as well. But he just doesn’t rock my shipped-docked-at-the-NY-Public-library. Don’t know why. Maybe it’s his annoying last name.

- *Note to self: When snowshoeing through the frozen wasteland that was once suburban Pennsylvania? New Jersey? Whatever. When snowshoeing through there, stay away from roofs with skylights. Especially if they are the roofs of Galleria-type malls that lead to ginormous drops onto escalators*

- The tornadoes decimating LA? Wow. That was really cool. I kept wondering why the news head had gotten out of his car in the first place, though. I mean everyone knows that if you are in your car and suddenly faced with a tornado stay in your freaking car! Or maybe that’s lightening storms. But either way it would have been wiser to keep driving instead of futzing about with the stupid pedestrians.

The janitor opening the door into empty space? Wow. And believable as tornadoes have been know to do damage that specific (like taking out only part of the building while the rest of it stays pretty much in tact).

So, big fan of the tornadoes.

- Chemo-kid was also unnecessary gratuitous plot as he ended up surviving anyway and so did Lucy so who the hell cares that she stayed behind. Cut out that whole part and there’s my half hour. Bah.

- Lauren was insipid and stupid and when you have a great, festering wound on your leg (and if you didn’t see that coming I shun you. SHUN you, I say) you tell someone. What’s the point of surviving the wetting/freeze only to die of blood poisoning? Stupido.

- Loved Brian. “I’m the president of the Electronics club. I’m the president of the Math club. I’m the president of the Chess club. I challenge you to find a bigger nerd in the room.” HEE!

To sum up:

- Special effects rocked. Rocked, rocked, rocked.

- Sub-plots that didn’t involve Scots trapped in an isolated weather center were dull and pointless.

All in all I give it four stars. Almost everything one could ask for in a mindless disaster movie.

Final thought: walking out of the movie into a warm, sunshiny Manhattan afternoon was a little bizarre. Also, the lights randomly went up for about a second during the middle of a movie and my first thought was “Shit! There is a wall of water headed for the theater!”

And thank god the dog survived.

Edited because, while Selma Hayak is indeed a beautiful woman, she isn't Sela Ward, who was, in fact, in DAT. Oops.

Comments

[raskazzptitsa.livejournal.com]

Dude, me and my friend agreed the pack of hungry wolves and chemo-kid were too damned much. It was like the producers were all, "Yeah, yeah, water snow mass killings angst and woe...but where's the scrappy little kid and the treacherous wolves??"

[cousinjean.livejournal.com]

I mean everyone knows that if you are in your car and suddenly faced with a tornado stay in your freaking car!

Actually, you get the hell out of your car and go to the nearest shelter, and if there's not a shelter, go lie flat in a ditch and cover your head. And hope it doesn't flood. Never stay in your car.

[angelchicken.livejournal.com]

Okay, there is that. I knew it was either stay in the car or get the hell out. But in this scenario, staying the the car and driving to the station would probably have been a better alternative to standing on the street and yelling at people, which is what he did. He may have had an altruistic purpose, but it was dumb, yo. :)

I'll edit my post.

[cousinjean.livejournal.com]

Heh, well, yes. I concede that getting in the car and driving like hell away from the tornado is a better idea than standing around and waiting for it to come and flatten you. But I already ranted about this in my own brief review. People that stupid deserve to get flattened.