Loo-hoo ser-her

[angelchicken]

I am such a loser. Dude. I am calling in sick tomorrow and I freaking feel guilty about it! What's that about? I have no loyalties to this company, which is a shame, because I am usually very loyal. I am still loyal to Crapaport (I wouldn't discuss clients/behind the scenes stuff etc. if asked because I just don't do that) and Mike treated my like shit for years.

I haven't taken a sick day since August. The only two days I've taken of (re: not because the office is closed) have been the half day before Thanksgiving (because I was driving to Chicago) and the half day on Christmas Eve.

I deserve a day off.

So why do I feel guilt? Why do I feel like I would be letting the company down? I don't have anything to do tomorrow that couldn't be done by any other employee. I spent half of today making up stuff for myself to do that could be considered work.

I don't understand myself.

But I do have an interview tomorrow. I think. Head Hunter lady was supposed to e-mail me, but she hasn't yet. I called her today, but she didn't get back to me. I'll try again in the morn.

And the lady from GIA e-mailed and called me today, wanting to see if I was still interested. I missed both the call and the e-mail because of crappy work, but I e-mailed her tonight (which, in turn, reminded me to send the thank you letter tomorrow!) and so I think if I want the job I might actually get it.



Damn. I really don't know what to do. GIA seems like it would be a really good job and a smart choice for me. But the money is low. And.

And.

I don't know if it is so much that I want to move to Chicago as it is I don't want to keep living in New York.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love New York. I have friends here and a life here and it really is a great city. But it is exhausting. And I miss my family a lot. And I'm so tired here.

And I don't think they will open a new lab in Chicago just so I can go home. They liked me, but I don't think it was that much.

But wouldn't it be cool if they did?

So I am really torn. The scale is so evenly balanced. Of course, there is the "If I take the job it doesn't start for a month and what do I do in the meantime because every day I get closer and closer to just flat out quitting and fuck RGBC because they fucked me first" problem to deal with as well. I could probably find temp jobs for the next month, but who knows.

I'm qualified!

I can process words! In Word!

I. Know. Diamonds.

Somebody has to want me. And want to give me health insurance and a good salary and maybe even send me to GIA for my GG (which would be my Graduate Gemologist degree, if you didn't know).

Right?

Grr.


AND WHAT IS WITH THE STUPID GUILT!!!!

Do I have to watch the State of the Union?

Comments

[reginaspina.livejournal.com]

Aww, hon, don't feel guilt about calling in sick! I actually *like* my job and all the people at my office and i still sometimes just need a day off!

[dreago.livejournal.com]

Okay...you don't have to listen but...

If I were you, I would take the low paying GIA job. Cause:
A)You're young! Who says you have to be making bank now?

B)When you do make bank and are a valuad asset to GIA then you can make them open up a lab. Or be a consultant and commute or something. ...YOu know what I mean.

C)3 years is small compared to the rest of your life, but even one year in a fucked up place you hate will take off multiple years from your mental health.

D) You might find NYC more bearable if you where happier with what you did.

That's my opinion anyways, I don't know if it helps

[cousinjean.livejournal.com]

What dreago said. I really have nothing to add, other than {{{{AC}}}}

Now look at purdy, purdy James and visit your happy place!

[mrbig1316.livejournal.com]

The guilt has to do with you being such a wonderful person. But ya know what my word of advice is? DON'T.

Don't fucking feeling guilty. YOU DESERVE THE DAY OFF.

FUCK THEM! (with exclamation point!!)

*hugs you tight*

[sodanyc.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'd basically have to agree with what dreago says. If GIA is paying you enough to cover rent and living expenses (which are definitely high here), then it seems like it would be pretty worth it to take.

As for the NYC being an exhausting city, well yeah, I get that too. However, like other people have pointed out, maybe if you had a job you enjoyed, it wouldn't be as exhausting. Last year when I was really frustrated with job hunting and apartment hunting and all of that annoying stuff, I remember having bouts of frustration and annoyance with the city. But they basically passed when everything settled down.

The flip side to this is that the other times that I begin to get sick of the city is when I'm quite broke and feel like everything that I want to do requires a trust fund, I also get frustrated. So if you really would be that strapped for cash even with the new job...well, yeah. Just something else to consider:)