Laziest. Day. Ever.
Dec. 13th, 2003 06:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angelchickenI have been in bed all day. "Oh AC," you may say, "Are you ill? Distraught? Is everything okay?"
Why yes, my friends. All is fine. I just didn't want to get out of bed. And seeing as how I can both watch TV and play on the 'puter in bed I just haven't gotten aroung to getting out of it. Or my jammies. Oh I had big plans for today. Do dishes, do laundry, change my sheets. But oh well. Que sera, sera. Some days you just need to not get out of bed. Though I did go to the corner store to get a cuppa. So I have left the apartment. Okay, so I was wearing a long winder coat over my jammies, but I was out. I'll be productive tomorrow.
In other news, I compiled a list all about ME! Yay! My favorite subject! So, like, years ago there was this "100 things about me" meme going around and I didn't do it, but I thought about it. And the new "Tell me about yourself" meme made me feel like, well, telling. I tried to stay away from squicky and tried not to over share (other then the fact I wrote 100 things about me). Read, don't read, it's all good. *MWAH!*
1. Scooby-doo used to scare me. Not the main characters, but the ghosts and goblins and stuff. (Yes, the fake ghosts and goblins. I was a wussy child).
2. One of my biggest indulgences is paper towels. Seriously. And not just any towel, but white Bounty (I don't like the designs, though I'll get them if it's all they have). I don't like napkins. If I am without paper towels I feel almost crippled. When I was unemployed and broke and living on PB&J, I still had my Bounty paper towels.
3. When I was little I thought Virginia and vagina were the same word. When I met my babysitter’s sister who was named Virginia I was shocked and asked my mom why her parents would name their daughter after a female body part. I was always slightly scandalized when I saw her.
4. I know I could have been a much better student. It’s kind of embarrassing and upsetting that my grades sucked.
5. When I was in pre-school my friend, Danny Banks, and I would sit on the steps out side of the classroom and kiss.
6. I'm a certified Diamond Grader.
7. I grew up next door to a cemetery. It never bothered me, but it occasionally freaked out my friends. I used to play in the ravines around the cemeteries (there were two, actually. The Catholic cemetary and the public one) and have picnics and ride my bike there. I loved it. I still think cemeteries are soothing and nice. Especially the small town ones, like where my dad is. I'm glad he was buried in a cemetery I know.
8. My dream is to get married and have children. I have always wanted to be a housewife. Seriously, taking care of the children and keeping house have always seemed so wonderful to me. Of course, I would have to have the energy to watch children all day and clean, so it might not work out.
9. My dad died when I was sixteen. It sucks.
10. Amendment to #9. I am at a place where I can say, in complete honesty, that I am so, so lucky to have had him for as long as I did. I would much rather have had my father for 16 years then some emotionally or physically abusive asshole. Or someone who just didn’t care. Again, it took me a while to get to that place, and it still doesn’t suck any less.
11. I think cucumbers are the vegetable of the devil. And lima beans.
12. I was huge into theatre through High School. I wanted to get into it in college as well, but I didn’t particularly care for most of the theatre crowd at Fordham, so I didn’t.
13. I am terrible at advertising myself. I really don’t know what anyone would see in me as a girlfriend or wife, so I never date. And I haven’t since I broke up with Stupid Ex. I just figured that no one would want to get to know me, so why bother?
14. I am dying for a massage, especially my back, neck and feet.
15. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
16. I much prefer reading over television. I love that I can imagine the stories and make them my own. I have always been the reader in the family (well, between me and my siblings).
17.I don’t really drink. I have no problem going out with people who are drinking and I will have something occasionally, but I just don’t think it’s worth the money and the hangover. Stupid Ex used to get pissed at me because I didn’t want to drink, like it was a slight against him. He literally couldn’t understand that I just didn’t want to. Not because of some high moral superiority or anything.
18. That isn’t to say I’ve never been drunk, or sick because of drinking. My I-will-never-touch-that-again liquor is Kahlua. There was a night, the first week of my senior year of college, when I got insanely sick on White Russians. So never again. And I am kind of wary of Bailey’s, but do occasionally enjoy it.
19. I need more clothes and more shoes. I am seriously lacking. I just need the money to get them, first.
20. I love thunderstorms.
21. I went to an all-girls boarding school. It was the best four years (school-wise) of my life. More than grade school and more than college.
22. The thing I am most proud of is moving to New York after college. I came over, found a crappy and kind of scary apartment, and a job as an “Inbound Sales Representative” (re: when you called Chase and asked about the accounts, you got me), but I was able to find my way and get a job in diamonds. I made it here, I can make it anywhere.
23. I miss Chicago.
24. My favorite books when I was between the ages of 10 & 14 were The Outsiders, Tiger Eyes, Say Goodnight, Gracie, The Westing Game and Izzy Willy-Nilly. I also read most of the Babysitters Club Books, most of the Sweet Valley High books and most of the Nancy Drew Case Files books (in case you were curious, the case file books were the ones that were slightly risqué. They had kissing). I also loved the Big Babysitters Club vacation books (where it’s all points of view) and the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boy crossover books (Frank and Nancy soooo wanted each other).
25. My sister was my best friend until I hit puberty. Then, she hit puberty. But now we are friends again. I love that. I adore her.
26. When ever my mom says I remind her of dad, either good or bad, I am complimented. I have his temperament. It drives my mom crazy.
27. I am pretty. This is not egotistical, and I sure as hell have some very repulsive days, but overall, I am an attractive person. I like my hair, usually, and I think I have nice features (and big boobs certainly help). I know I am anywhere from 20-30 pounds overweight at any given time, but enough people who haven’t had any need to be nice to me have told me I am very attractive that I do believe it and occasionally see it.
28. When I become obsessed with something I tend to immerse myself in it. Completely. Like, say, Buffy. Or Queer as Folk or reading all the Babysitters Club/SVH/Nancy Drew books. It’s surprising how little this bothers me.
29. Some people love comics, I love comic strips. “For Better or for Worse”, “Zits”, “Garfield” (when I was younger), “Stone Soup”, “Agnes”, “Fox Trot”, “Calvin & Hobbes”, I love ‘em all. I get my mom the new FBofW book every Christmas and when Michael and Deanna had a baby my mom called and said “Did you know Michael had a baby?!?!” and I knew who she was talking about. I think part of this stems from my dad always reading me, my sister & brother the Sunday comics every week. When I get the Sunday paper, I always save the comics for last.
30. My favorite jelly is raspberry.
31. My brother is severly dyslexic. He was diagnosed when he was five and spent the next ten years going to tutors and still barely passing his classes. Finally my mom put him on Ritalin and he suddenly becaume an excellent student. He voluntairly repeated his junior year in HS so he could get his grades up before college. He's now a junior at Vanderbilt. I am so, so proud of him. If I was ever to teach or tutor, I would want to work with dyslexic kids. I know so much about it through my brother, and did some work with them when I was in college.
32. My music taste is so very eclectic. Ask me my favorite artist and I wouldn’t be able to tell you. It changes all the freaking time. At the moment (literally at this moment) my favorite song is “This Years Love” by David Grey. But that could change in a heartbeat.
33. I still get Legos™ for Christmas every year. They’re my favorites.
34. I used to love My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake. The dolls, the movies, everything. (Well it’s berry, berry this/and it’s berry, berry that/are you berry, berry funny?/ are you berry, berry fat? – Strawberry Shortcake’s International Surprise Party is what I think the movie was).
35. If I were to have many children tomorrow their names would be: Paul (after my dad), Henry, Benjamin, Abigail (Abby), Katherine (Katie) and maybe Emma. My most favorite girls name EVER is Amanda, but I can’t name a child that because I have known too many Mandys I didn’t like and the name doesn’t outweigh the association. But do know that I have also known Amanda’s (and Mandy’s) I liked as well.
36. I sometimes resent my sister and brother.
37. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to my mom.
38. I tell people I love them all the time and I mean it. Every time I talk to my mom or sister or brother I tell them I love them, and they say it back. We have always been pretty open about it, but after my dad died, it just became so, so ingrained. Even when I am pissed or fighting I tell someone I love them (if I do, of course) because I want them to always know it. My College Ex used to not like it because I said it so much and he felt it lost some of it’s meaning, to which I replied a hearty “Fuck you”. I wouldn’t say it unless I meant it.
39. I fall in love very easily, but I can also fall out of love quickly. I always think of Bridget Fonda in Singles when she is pining over Matt Dillon and then suddenly she isn’t - it’s just over. It’s like that. The problem comes because even if I fall out of love with someone (I might still love them, but not be in love with them. There is a difference) I suck at breaking up with people. The two guys I was with I stayed with for far too long because I couldn’t dump them. So I got resentful and withheld sex. I don’t want to sleep with someone I’m not attracted to.
40. I’ve never had good sex (intercourse). Though College Ex was pretty freaking good at *ahem* other things. As opposed to stupid ex who only did other things once or twice and acted like it was this big wonderful thing when, actually, it was terrible. And Stupid Ex never trimmed his nails nicely. They would always have sharp edges. He was a dick, now that I think about it. And a sucky lover (so, so very not literally). Thank god I dumped him. Ugh.
41. I want to be independently wealthy, but I don’t want to have to work for it.
42. I love to listen to “In the Hall of the Mountain King” and air-conduct.
43. I still sleep with my Teddy Bear, Bish. He is one of my most valuable possessions. I’ve had him since I Was six-months old and I can’t sleep without him. If I was out for the night or something, I would need a pillow or something that I could kind of mold into Bish-like form and sleep with. Even with the boyfriends I would sleep with him. I love him ever so. Though I have no clue how I came up with Bish as a name. Huh.
44. I love brussel sprouts and spinach. I love squash and zucchini. I love tomatoes and mushrooms. I’m a big fruit/veggie person. Mmmmm, veggies.
45. Acorn Squash with butter and maple syrup is a big comfort food. Mmmmm.
46. I am on medication because I was having a huge problem with panic attacks. They are fucking terrifying. And happen completely out of the blue. Fuck, they are awful.
47. I love bottled water. I much prefer to drink it from a bottle than a class.
48. When I was little I used to beg my parents to let me eat McDonalds. Now I eat a Mickey-D’s maybe once a year. Maybe. Because, ugh. Though they do have the best fries.
49. Jon Krakours’s Into Thin Air a Nicholas Christopher’s A Trip to the Stars are two of the most incredible books I have ever read. I recommend them to everyone.
50. I read The Poisonwood Bible about three years ago and I really liked it. But I still think that every book I read after that that I really enjoyed was a reward for finishing it. Crimey, it was a long, hard, exhausting read (to me, in any case).
51. I will always think that Spike and Buffy belong together. They are my OTP.
52. When I was little, my mom used to call me her Angel Chicken. Or her Angel Pussy-cat. It was a pet name for me. The mystery of my lj handle revealed!!!
53. Coffee is life. So is Diet Coke.
54. Apples taste best with great gobs of peanut butter.
55. I have Cowboy hat. I bought it at a Country/Western bar in Tucson. I never wear it, but I love having it.
56. When I was growing up, some nights my family (all five of us: Mom, Dad, Annie, Jenny & David) would pay old records and dance after dinner. It was wonderful. I still occasionally put on random songs and dance around my apartment.
57. Growing up, I had a wonderful home life.
58. The same could not be said for school. I was painfully shy and was often picked on. Fourth and fifth grades were absolute hell. I went to a Montessori School for Sixth and half of seventh grade and was very, very happy there. It gave me a lot of much needed confidence. But I still often see myself as the shy, unliked little girl, even knowing that the reasons behind my being picked on and the kids who did it. I don’t think that is ever going to go away.
59. I have a full sized bed. I love it.
60. I hate gum. Except for the current Trident phase I am going through. Mmmm, Trident.
61. I have lots of pictures decorating my apartment.
62. I favorite painting is “Nighthawks” by Edward Hopper and my favorite artist is Monet.
63. When I was little (like five-ish) I told my mom that I was going to marry my dad, but she could marry Grandpa (My dad’s dad).
64. When I was a little older I told Granny (my mom’s mom) that she could marry Grandpa, and then they would have each other.
65. I loved Granny, but it was hard. She wasn’t very good to my mom. At all. For my mom’s entire childhood she came second to pretty much everything. And I loved Grandpa, but it was hard. He wasn’t very kind to my dad, who was never good enough. But I have such wonderful memories of them from when I was little. And I know they each adored me and my siblings, and, in their own way, my parents.
66. My mother has a profoundly retarded sister who no one expected to live. She is now 54 (I think) and lives at a special school in Pennsylvania. She has been there since she was six. I’ve never met her. For years, no one visited her, because the doctors told my mom and Grandmother that it wouldn’t make a difference so they shouldn’t come. In the eighties, my mom wanted to see her. When she went to the school with my dad the nurses were so pleased she was there because no one ever came to see Polly (my Aunt). It was like a kick to the gut for my mom. The only reason she never visited was because the school told her not to!
67. My great, great, etc. Grandfather was the right hand man to Brigham Young. He had 42 wives and about 65 children.
68. I can drive a stick. I think that’s pretty bad-ass and kind of sexy.
69. Seeing Handel’s “Messiah” has been one of the best experiences I’ve had since moving to New York.
70. I some times think my mom wishes I was someone I wasn’t.
71. I hate fighting, and am kind of a huge pushover. I want things to be good all the time, so if I am unhappy, I won’t say anything and hope it goes away. It usually just gets bottled up until I explode into a raging lunatic. And then everything usually turns out okay.
72. I give in way too easily, which was a big part of the problem with Stupid Ex. This goes with the not fighting thing. He knew I would give in to him, and when I fought it he would sulk, or get pissy and I would end up giving in in any case. I hate that about myself. And him.
73. I love living alone.
74. I love mindless books, like James Patterson, Patricia Cornwell, and Mary Higgins Clark novels.
75. I have some impulse control problems when it comes to buying things I don’t really need. But I can justify buying anything, even if my reason is Kate Moss thin.
76. I love Olsen Twins movies (that’d be a dirty little secret).
77.The Lifetime Channel is evil. I hate Lifetime movies, but can definitely get sucked into them. So I usually just avoid the channel. Best lifetime movies (that I’ve seen) (and they usually start out as network movies that end up on Lifetime after their network debut): a) “What Kind of Mother Are You?” Nicole Tom is a troubled teen. Mom let’s her spend the night in jail as a punishment for yet another deviant act and then can’t get her out for something like three years. Or maybe a year and a half. I loved it. B) Kevin Arnold kills DJ Tanner and hides her body at the bottom of a lake. Doesn’t get any better than that.
78. I was a debutante when I was 19 and I loved it. Parties and fun and all sorts of attention heaped on me! (well, me and 16 other girls). (The Cotillion).
79. James Marsters, Colin Firth and Gale Harold are three of the most beautiful and sexy men on the planet. Other sexy men: Nicholas Brendan, Johnny Depp, Laurence Fishburne, George Clooney, Jeff Goldblum, Will Smith, Viggo Mortenson, Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alexis Denisof. (And one more pic of Spike because it's my favorite) There are many more, but I can’t think of them off hand.
80. I love fish, especially salmon. But I hate it when people pronounce the ‘L’. The ‘L’ is silent, people! Maaaaaajor pet peeve.
81. Bad grammar is another pet peeve.
82. I love and adore Broadway musicals.
83. Why take the subway or drive when you can walk?
84. I am an oldest child, so I can say with absolute conviction that being an oldest child sucks. It’s hard to be the starter child, and yes, you often get a lot of the best from your parents, but you also definitely get a lot of the worst. They are learning on you. There isn’t an argument against that. My parents freaked out a lot more and were a lot harder on me than they were my sister and brother (and still, my mom is. She fully admits it). And growing up I often got blamed for a lot of the stuff my siblings did because I was the oldest and had to set the example or I was supposed to be watching them, or they were too young etc, etc and so fourth.
85. I wish I was a better writer, but I can never solidify my thoughts to make them tight enough to be good on paper. So I get wordy and purple and it ends up pissing me off.
86. I idolize my dad. I really worship him (though not in a god sense. He was in no way perfect). But I also sometimes resent him for dying. I know there wasn’t anything he could do about it, but he has missed so much and I wish he hadn’t. Doesn’t make me love him any less, though.
87. My family? Big with the gallows humor. We made inappropriate jokes all through my dad’s illness, when we were planning the funeral, picking out the headstone. It’s a coping mechanism and we still use it. And, of course, since my dad is dead, we can blame him for things and he can’t defend himself. To wit:
AC: I’m having a bad hair day
AC’s mom: That would be your fathers fault. I never have bad hair.
AC: Thanks a lot, dad.
88. One of the worst things about my dad’s illness? One morning, during the summer he was sick, but before it got really bad, my dad came downstairs for breakfast on, like, a Saturday morning. He was wearing a red flannel and jeans, and he had missed a spot when combing his hair. That almost broke me. My dad was strong. He was still going to work after five weeks of radiation treatment on his throat (he had thyroid cancer), but it messed him up in little ways, like forgetting to comb a part of his hair. It still makes me almost choke when I think of it.
89. I know there is such a thing as too much Information, and I know I am such a culprit of it. But I try to avoid the major squick.
90. I loathe bathroom humor.
91. I was in the Chicago area at the same time James Marsters was living in Chicago. If only I had known . . .
92. Thinking of 100 things about myself is hard work.
93. I love and adore pedicures and manicures, and recently discovered the absolute joy of using red polish on my fingernails. Très sexy.
94. I used to be terrified of the number 13. Like a crippling fear of something bad happening if I saw a 13. It still makes me uneasy, but nothing like it used to.
95. My favorite number is 14.
96. My favorite color is blue. Followed by red and green.
97. I wish I could wear pastels, but the wash me out or make me look green.
98. I went to sleepover camp for four years- three different camps. First camp- Minnesota – sucked. Hated it. Second camp – North Carolina. Loved it, but I had to ride, and I hate riding (since that camp, actually. I used to love it. But I was on a horse that got stung by a bee twice while I was on it. Scared the shit out of me. So horses and me? Not a match made in heaveeeeen. But I still want one). So I didn’t go back. Third camp- first year loved it. Second year? Not so much. I wanted to go home mid-summer because a) I was leaving for boarding school at the end of the summer and realized I wanted to be with my family and b) my dad had recently had surgery because doctors had found cancerous cells in his thyroid so he had just had it removed (which worked soooo well /sarcasm). I wanted to be with him. The camp director told me that I would be wimping out if I go home. Something like “If you can’t make it seven weeks at summer camp you’ll never make it at boarding school”. What a bitch so say that to a 14 year old. I stayed to show her that I wasn’t a wimp, but I still resent, and, well, hate her. I saw her at Grandpa’s funeral and avoided her.
99. My mom and I were hysterically laughing in the second row at my Grandfather’s funeral. It was most likely a stress reaction, but there was this speaker who was just droning on and on and on about the same thing, but saying it in different ways (We will see him again. Again, see him we will. We see him will again. And that is practically literally) and we were almost in tears trying to fight off the laughter. It was two years after my dad died and we were still dealing with that. I think it’s part of the reason that dad’s older sister doesn’t spend much time with us. But it probably looked like we were crying, so who knows. And it’s not like we saw them all that much in the first place.
100. I try not to regret anything, which is total BS, but it’s not like I can change the past. I’m still young and I am pretty healthy and life might not be all that great at times, but I have a job and a roof over my head and food to eat, and a family I love, so it could be worse. It bothers me when the people I ride the train with talk to me like I am too young to have really lived or that I am such a baby because I am 27. My dad was 49 when he died. Anything under 60 is young. And you aren’t really old until you are, like 80 and often older. Fuck anyone who thinks otherwise. In my life I have lost a parent and three grandparents (my dad’s mom and my mom’s dad died before I was born. My mom’s step-dad died when I was five, Grandpa when I was 18 and granny when I was 22). I’ve lived away from home for thirteen years, I have been unemployed, in bad relationships, been through the loss of a boyfriends father (heart attack) and the attempted suicide of another boyfriends dad (shotgun). I have been picked on mercilessly and I have been cherished. I have dealt with clinical depression and panic disorder, I made it thought college in four years when no one thought I could. Hell, I made it through four years of boarding school when no one thought I could and my dad died in that time. I am me. I m okay (at least according to the poster that was hanging on my wall all through high school).
Rambly, yes, but those are some things about me. Comment, don’t, no worries either way. And now, I have more being lazy to do. It’s really quite taxing. :)
Edited to add that I added links to all the pretty boys I mentioned to share the pretty. And I forgot Colin Firth, which is practically sacrelig. *sigh* No wonder I stayed in bed all day if my brain was forgetting people like the Firth!
Why yes, my friends. All is fine. I just didn't want to get out of bed. And seeing as how I can both watch TV and play on the 'puter in bed I just haven't gotten aroung to getting out of it. Or my jammies. Oh I had big plans for today. Do dishes, do laundry, change my sheets. But oh well. Que sera, sera. Some days you just need to not get out of bed. Though I did go to the corner store to get a cuppa. So I have left the apartment. Okay, so I was wearing a long winder coat over my jammies, but I was out. I'll be productive tomorrow.
In other news, I compiled a list all about ME! Yay! My favorite subject! So, like, years ago there was this "100 things about me" meme going around and I didn't do it, but I thought about it. And the new "Tell me about yourself" meme made me feel like, well, telling. I tried to stay away from squicky and tried not to over share (other then the fact I wrote 100 things about me). Read, don't read, it's all good. *MWAH!*
1. Scooby-doo used to scare me. Not the main characters, but the ghosts and goblins and stuff. (Yes, the fake ghosts and goblins. I was a wussy child).
2. One of my biggest indulgences is paper towels. Seriously. And not just any towel, but white Bounty (I don't like the designs, though I'll get them if it's all they have). I don't like napkins. If I am without paper towels I feel almost crippled. When I was unemployed and broke and living on PB&J, I still had my Bounty paper towels.
3. When I was little I thought Virginia and vagina were the same word. When I met my babysitter’s sister who was named Virginia I was shocked and asked my mom why her parents would name their daughter after a female body part. I was always slightly scandalized when I saw her.
4. I know I could have been a much better student. It’s kind of embarrassing and upsetting that my grades sucked.
5. When I was in pre-school my friend, Danny Banks, and I would sit on the steps out side of the classroom and kiss.
6. I'm a certified Diamond Grader.
7. I grew up next door to a cemetery. It never bothered me, but it occasionally freaked out my friends. I used to play in the ravines around the cemeteries (there were two, actually. The Catholic cemetary and the public one) and have picnics and ride my bike there. I loved it. I still think cemeteries are soothing and nice. Especially the small town ones, like where my dad is. I'm glad he was buried in a cemetery I know.
8. My dream is to get married and have children. I have always wanted to be a housewife. Seriously, taking care of the children and keeping house have always seemed so wonderful to me. Of course, I would have to have the energy to watch children all day and clean, so it might not work out.
9. My dad died when I was sixteen. It sucks.
10. Amendment to #9. I am at a place where I can say, in complete honesty, that I am so, so lucky to have had him for as long as I did. I would much rather have had my father for 16 years then some emotionally or physically abusive asshole. Or someone who just didn’t care. Again, it took me a while to get to that place, and it still doesn’t suck any less.
11. I think cucumbers are the vegetable of the devil. And lima beans.
12. I was huge into theatre through High School. I wanted to get into it in college as well, but I didn’t particularly care for most of the theatre crowd at Fordham, so I didn’t.
13. I am terrible at advertising myself. I really don’t know what anyone would see in me as a girlfriend or wife, so I never date. And I haven’t since I broke up with Stupid Ex. I just figured that no one would want to get to know me, so why bother?
14. I am dying for a massage, especially my back, neck and feet.
15. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
16. I much prefer reading over television. I love that I can imagine the stories and make them my own. I have always been the reader in the family (well, between me and my siblings).
17.I don’t really drink. I have no problem going out with people who are drinking and I will have something occasionally, but I just don’t think it’s worth the money and the hangover. Stupid Ex used to get pissed at me because I didn’t want to drink, like it was a slight against him. He literally couldn’t understand that I just didn’t want to. Not because of some high moral superiority or anything.
18. That isn’t to say I’ve never been drunk, or sick because of drinking. My I-will-never-touch-that-again liquor is Kahlua. There was a night, the first week of my senior year of college, when I got insanely sick on White Russians. So never again. And I am kind of wary of Bailey’s, but do occasionally enjoy it.
19. I need more clothes and more shoes. I am seriously lacking. I just need the money to get them, first.
20. I love thunderstorms.
21. I went to an all-girls boarding school. It was the best four years (school-wise) of my life. More than grade school and more than college.
22. The thing I am most proud of is moving to New York after college. I came over, found a crappy and kind of scary apartment, and a job as an “Inbound Sales Representative” (re: when you called Chase and asked about the accounts, you got me), but I was able to find my way and get a job in diamonds. I made it here, I can make it anywhere.
23. I miss Chicago.
24. My favorite books when I was between the ages of 10 & 14 were The Outsiders, Tiger Eyes, Say Goodnight, Gracie, The Westing Game and Izzy Willy-Nilly. I also read most of the Babysitters Club Books, most of the Sweet Valley High books and most of the Nancy Drew Case Files books (in case you were curious, the case file books were the ones that were slightly risqué. They had kissing). I also loved the Big Babysitters Club vacation books (where it’s all points of view) and the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boy crossover books (Frank and Nancy soooo wanted each other).
25. My sister was my best friend until I hit puberty. Then, she hit puberty. But now we are friends again. I love that. I adore her.
26. When ever my mom says I remind her of dad, either good or bad, I am complimented. I have his temperament. It drives my mom crazy.
27. I am pretty. This is not egotistical, and I sure as hell have some very repulsive days, but overall, I am an attractive person. I like my hair, usually, and I think I have nice features (and big boobs certainly help). I know I am anywhere from 20-30 pounds overweight at any given time, but enough people who haven’t had any need to be nice to me have told me I am very attractive that I do believe it and occasionally see it.
28. When I become obsessed with something I tend to immerse myself in it. Completely. Like, say, Buffy. Or Queer as Folk or reading all the Babysitters Club/SVH/Nancy Drew books. It’s surprising how little this bothers me.
29. Some people love comics, I love comic strips. “For Better or for Worse”, “Zits”, “Garfield” (when I was younger), “Stone Soup”, “Agnes”, “Fox Trot”, “Calvin & Hobbes”, I love ‘em all. I get my mom the new FBofW book every Christmas and when Michael and Deanna had a baby my mom called and said “Did you know Michael had a baby?!?!” and I knew who she was talking about. I think part of this stems from my dad always reading me, my sister & brother the Sunday comics every week. When I get the Sunday paper, I always save the comics for last.
30. My favorite jelly is raspberry.
31. My brother is severly dyslexic. He was diagnosed when he was five and spent the next ten years going to tutors and still barely passing his classes. Finally my mom put him on Ritalin and he suddenly becaume an excellent student. He voluntairly repeated his junior year in HS so he could get his grades up before college. He's now a junior at Vanderbilt. I am so, so proud of him. If I was ever to teach or tutor, I would want to work with dyslexic kids. I know so much about it through my brother, and did some work with them when I was in college.
32. My music taste is so very eclectic. Ask me my favorite artist and I wouldn’t be able to tell you. It changes all the freaking time. At the moment (literally at this moment) my favorite song is “This Years Love” by David Grey. But that could change in a heartbeat.
33. I still get Legos™ for Christmas every year. They’re my favorites.
34. I used to love My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake. The dolls, the movies, everything. (Well it’s berry, berry this/and it’s berry, berry that/are you berry, berry funny?/ are you berry, berry fat? – Strawberry Shortcake’s International Surprise Party is what I think the movie was).
35. If I were to have many children tomorrow their names would be: Paul (after my dad), Henry, Benjamin, Abigail (Abby), Katherine (Katie) and maybe Emma. My most favorite girls name EVER is Amanda, but I can’t name a child that because I have known too many Mandys I didn’t like and the name doesn’t outweigh the association. But do know that I have also known Amanda’s (and Mandy’s) I liked as well.
36. I sometimes resent my sister and brother.
37. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to my mom.
38. I tell people I love them all the time and I mean it. Every time I talk to my mom or sister or brother I tell them I love them, and they say it back. We have always been pretty open about it, but after my dad died, it just became so, so ingrained. Even when I am pissed or fighting I tell someone I love them (if I do, of course) because I want them to always know it. My College Ex used to not like it because I said it so much and he felt it lost some of it’s meaning, to which I replied a hearty “Fuck you”. I wouldn’t say it unless I meant it.
39. I fall in love very easily, but I can also fall out of love quickly. I always think of Bridget Fonda in Singles when she is pining over Matt Dillon and then suddenly she isn’t - it’s just over. It’s like that. The problem comes because even if I fall out of love with someone (I might still love them, but not be in love with them. There is a difference) I suck at breaking up with people. The two guys I was with I stayed with for far too long because I couldn’t dump them. So I got resentful and withheld sex. I don’t want to sleep with someone I’m not attracted to.
40. I’ve never had good sex (intercourse). Though College Ex was pretty freaking good at *ahem* other things. As opposed to stupid ex who only did other things once or twice and acted like it was this big wonderful thing when, actually, it was terrible. And Stupid Ex never trimmed his nails nicely. They would always have sharp edges. He was a dick, now that I think about it. And a sucky lover (so, so very not literally). Thank god I dumped him. Ugh.
41. I want to be independently wealthy, but I don’t want to have to work for it.
42. I love to listen to “In the Hall of the Mountain King” and air-conduct.
43. I still sleep with my Teddy Bear, Bish. He is one of my most valuable possessions. I’ve had him since I Was six-months old and I can’t sleep without him. If I was out for the night or something, I would need a pillow or something that I could kind of mold into Bish-like form and sleep with. Even with the boyfriends I would sleep with him. I love him ever so. Though I have no clue how I came up with Bish as a name. Huh.
44. I love brussel sprouts and spinach. I love squash and zucchini. I love tomatoes and mushrooms. I’m a big fruit/veggie person. Mmmmm, veggies.
45. Acorn Squash with butter and maple syrup is a big comfort food. Mmmmm.
46. I am on medication because I was having a huge problem with panic attacks. They are fucking terrifying. And happen completely out of the blue. Fuck, they are awful.
47. I love bottled water. I much prefer to drink it from a bottle than a class.
48. When I was little I used to beg my parents to let me eat McDonalds. Now I eat a Mickey-D’s maybe once a year. Maybe. Because, ugh. Though they do have the best fries.
49. Jon Krakours’s Into Thin Air a Nicholas Christopher’s A Trip to the Stars are two of the most incredible books I have ever read. I recommend them to everyone.
50. I read The Poisonwood Bible about three years ago and I really liked it. But I still think that every book I read after that that I really enjoyed was a reward for finishing it. Crimey, it was a long, hard, exhausting read (to me, in any case).
51. I will always think that Spike and Buffy belong together. They are my OTP.
52. When I was little, my mom used to call me her Angel Chicken. Or her Angel Pussy-cat. It was a pet name for me. The mystery of my lj handle revealed!!!
53. Coffee is life. So is Diet Coke.
54. Apples taste best with great gobs of peanut butter.
55. I have Cowboy hat. I bought it at a Country/Western bar in Tucson. I never wear it, but I love having it.
56. When I was growing up, some nights my family (all five of us: Mom, Dad, Annie, Jenny & David) would pay old records and dance after dinner. It was wonderful. I still occasionally put on random songs and dance around my apartment.
57. Growing up, I had a wonderful home life.
58. The same could not be said for school. I was painfully shy and was often picked on. Fourth and fifth grades were absolute hell. I went to a Montessori School for Sixth and half of seventh grade and was very, very happy there. It gave me a lot of much needed confidence. But I still often see myself as the shy, unliked little girl, even knowing that the reasons behind my being picked on and the kids who did it. I don’t think that is ever going to go away.
59. I have a full sized bed. I love it.
60. I hate gum. Except for the current Trident phase I am going through. Mmmm, Trident.
61. I have lots of pictures decorating my apartment.
62. I favorite painting is “Nighthawks” by Edward Hopper and my favorite artist is Monet.
63. When I was little (like five-ish) I told my mom that I was going to marry my dad, but she could marry Grandpa (My dad’s dad).
64. When I was a little older I told Granny (my mom’s mom) that she could marry Grandpa, and then they would have each other.
65. I loved Granny, but it was hard. She wasn’t very good to my mom. At all. For my mom’s entire childhood she came second to pretty much everything. And I loved Grandpa, but it was hard. He wasn’t very kind to my dad, who was never good enough. But I have such wonderful memories of them from when I was little. And I know they each adored me and my siblings, and, in their own way, my parents.
66. My mother has a profoundly retarded sister who no one expected to live. She is now 54 (I think) and lives at a special school in Pennsylvania. She has been there since she was six. I’ve never met her. For years, no one visited her, because the doctors told my mom and Grandmother that it wouldn’t make a difference so they shouldn’t come. In the eighties, my mom wanted to see her. When she went to the school with my dad the nurses were so pleased she was there because no one ever came to see Polly (my Aunt). It was like a kick to the gut for my mom. The only reason she never visited was because the school told her not to!
67. My great, great, etc. Grandfather was the right hand man to Brigham Young. He had 42 wives and about 65 children.
68. I can drive a stick. I think that’s pretty bad-ass and kind of sexy.
69. Seeing Handel’s “Messiah” has been one of the best experiences I’ve had since moving to New York.
70. I some times think my mom wishes I was someone I wasn’t.
71. I hate fighting, and am kind of a huge pushover. I want things to be good all the time, so if I am unhappy, I won’t say anything and hope it goes away. It usually just gets bottled up until I explode into a raging lunatic. And then everything usually turns out okay.
72. I give in way too easily, which was a big part of the problem with Stupid Ex. This goes with the not fighting thing. He knew I would give in to him, and when I fought it he would sulk, or get pissy and I would end up giving in in any case. I hate that about myself. And him.
73. I love living alone.
74. I love mindless books, like James Patterson, Patricia Cornwell, and Mary Higgins Clark novels.
75. I have some impulse control problems when it comes to buying things I don’t really need. But I can justify buying anything, even if my reason is Kate Moss thin.
76. I love Olsen Twins movies (that’d be a dirty little secret).
77.The Lifetime Channel is evil. I hate Lifetime movies, but can definitely get sucked into them. So I usually just avoid the channel. Best lifetime movies (that I’ve seen) (and they usually start out as network movies that end up on Lifetime after their network debut): a) “What Kind of Mother Are You?” Nicole Tom is a troubled teen. Mom let’s her spend the night in jail as a punishment for yet another deviant act and then can’t get her out for something like three years. Or maybe a year and a half. I loved it. B) Kevin Arnold kills DJ Tanner and hides her body at the bottom of a lake. Doesn’t get any better than that.
78. I was a debutante when I was 19 and I loved it. Parties and fun and all sorts of attention heaped on me! (well, me and 16 other girls). (The Cotillion).
79. James Marsters, Colin Firth and Gale Harold are three of the most beautiful and sexy men on the planet. Other sexy men: Nicholas Brendan, Johnny Depp, Laurence Fishburne, George Clooney, Jeff Goldblum, Will Smith, Viggo Mortenson, Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alexis Denisof. (And one more pic of Spike because it's my favorite) There are many more, but I can’t think of them off hand.
80. I love fish, especially salmon. But I hate it when people pronounce the ‘L’. The ‘L’ is silent, people! Maaaaaajor pet peeve.
81. Bad grammar is another pet peeve.
82. I love and adore Broadway musicals.
83. Why take the subway or drive when you can walk?
84. I am an oldest child, so I can say with absolute conviction that being an oldest child sucks. It’s hard to be the starter child, and yes, you often get a lot of the best from your parents, but you also definitely get a lot of the worst. They are learning on you. There isn’t an argument against that. My parents freaked out a lot more and were a lot harder on me than they were my sister and brother (and still, my mom is. She fully admits it). And growing up I often got blamed for a lot of the stuff my siblings did because I was the oldest and had to set the example or I was supposed to be watching them, or they were too young etc, etc and so fourth.
85. I wish I was a better writer, but I can never solidify my thoughts to make them tight enough to be good on paper. So I get wordy and purple and it ends up pissing me off.
86. I idolize my dad. I really worship him (though not in a god sense. He was in no way perfect). But I also sometimes resent him for dying. I know there wasn’t anything he could do about it, but he has missed so much and I wish he hadn’t. Doesn’t make me love him any less, though.
87. My family? Big with the gallows humor. We made inappropriate jokes all through my dad’s illness, when we were planning the funeral, picking out the headstone. It’s a coping mechanism and we still use it. And, of course, since my dad is dead, we can blame him for things and he can’t defend himself. To wit:
AC: I’m having a bad hair day
AC’s mom: That would be your fathers fault. I never have bad hair.
AC: Thanks a lot, dad.
88. One of the worst things about my dad’s illness? One morning, during the summer he was sick, but before it got really bad, my dad came downstairs for breakfast on, like, a Saturday morning. He was wearing a red flannel and jeans, and he had missed a spot when combing his hair. That almost broke me. My dad was strong. He was still going to work after five weeks of radiation treatment on his throat (he had thyroid cancer), but it messed him up in little ways, like forgetting to comb a part of his hair. It still makes me almost choke when I think of it.
89. I know there is such a thing as too much Information, and I know I am such a culprit of it. But I try to avoid the major squick.
90. I loathe bathroom humor.
91. I was in the Chicago area at the same time James Marsters was living in Chicago. If only I had known . . .
92. Thinking of 100 things about myself is hard work.
93. I love and adore pedicures and manicures, and recently discovered the absolute joy of using red polish on my fingernails. Très sexy.
94. I used to be terrified of the number 13. Like a crippling fear of something bad happening if I saw a 13. It still makes me uneasy, but nothing like it used to.
95. My favorite number is 14.
96. My favorite color is blue. Followed by red and green.
97. I wish I could wear pastels, but the wash me out or make me look green.
98. I went to sleepover camp for four years- three different camps. First camp- Minnesota – sucked. Hated it. Second camp – North Carolina. Loved it, but I had to ride, and I hate riding (since that camp, actually. I used to love it. But I was on a horse that got stung by a bee twice while I was on it. Scared the shit out of me. So horses and me? Not a match made in heaveeeeen. But I still want one). So I didn’t go back. Third camp- first year loved it. Second year? Not so much. I wanted to go home mid-summer because a) I was leaving for boarding school at the end of the summer and realized I wanted to be with my family and b) my dad had recently had surgery because doctors had found cancerous cells in his thyroid so he had just had it removed (which worked soooo well /sarcasm). I wanted to be with him. The camp director told me that I would be wimping out if I go home. Something like “If you can’t make it seven weeks at summer camp you’ll never make it at boarding school”. What a bitch so say that to a 14 year old. I stayed to show her that I wasn’t a wimp, but I still resent, and, well, hate her. I saw her at Grandpa’s funeral and avoided her.
99. My mom and I were hysterically laughing in the second row at my Grandfather’s funeral. It was most likely a stress reaction, but there was this speaker who was just droning on and on and on about the same thing, but saying it in different ways (We will see him again. Again, see him we will. We see him will again. And that is practically literally) and we were almost in tears trying to fight off the laughter. It was two years after my dad died and we were still dealing with that. I think it’s part of the reason that dad’s older sister doesn’t spend much time with us. But it probably looked like we were crying, so who knows. And it’s not like we saw them all that much in the first place.
100. I try not to regret anything, which is total BS, but it’s not like I can change the past. I’m still young and I am pretty healthy and life might not be all that great at times, but I have a job and a roof over my head and food to eat, and a family I love, so it could be worse. It bothers me when the people I ride the train with talk to me like I am too young to have really lived or that I am such a baby because I am 27. My dad was 49 when he died. Anything under 60 is young. And you aren’t really old until you are, like 80 and often older. Fuck anyone who thinks otherwise. In my life I have lost a parent and three grandparents (my dad’s mom and my mom’s dad died before I was born. My mom’s step-dad died when I was five, Grandpa when I was 18 and granny when I was 22). I’ve lived away from home for thirteen years, I have been unemployed, in bad relationships, been through the loss of a boyfriends father (heart attack) and the attempted suicide of another boyfriends dad (shotgun). I have been picked on mercilessly and I have been cherished. I have dealt with clinical depression and panic disorder, I made it thought college in four years when no one thought I could. Hell, I made it through four years of boarding school when no one thought I could and my dad died in that time. I am me. I m okay (at least according to the poster that was hanging on my wall all through high school).
Rambly, yes, but those are some things about me. Comment, don’t, no worries either way. And now, I have more being lazy to do. It’s really quite taxing. :)
Edited to add that I added links to all the pretty boys I mentioned to share the pretty. And I forgot Colin Firth, which is practically sacrelig. *sigh* No wonder I stayed in bed all day if my brain was forgetting people like the Firth!
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Date: 2003-12-13 04:45 pm (UTC)(and bog boobs certainly help)
I have to admit I got a giggle out of trying to interpret that typo literally. Hee.
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Date: 2003-12-13 04:49 pm (UTC)Snerk. Thanks for the kind words. And they typo is fix-ed.
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Date: 2003-12-13 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-13 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-13 07:48 pm (UTC)But back to your list. #8 - we are so sisters. That's my dream too! Ever since I was little I've just wanted to be a housewife. I see nothing wrong with that.
I learned how to drive a car with a stick. It's all I've ever driven. The truck we just got is the first vehicle I have ever had without a stick. Fang drives it anyway but the car I drive to work is...a stick. Does that make me bad ass and sexy?
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Date: 2003-12-13 08:03 pm (UTC)Oh honey, that just makes you more of a badass and sexier.
I think there is nothing wrong with wanting to take care of a family, so long as I also have a life. Which might be a crazy dream, but still something I want.
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Date: 2003-12-13 09:07 pm (UTC)27. I am pretty. This is not egotistical, and I sure as hell have some very repulsive days, but overall, I am an attractive person.
And I also love you for saying this. It's a touchy subject, self image (or body image, or whatever), and it's just so much easier to be upfront about it. I can't think of a more eloquent way to put it, so I'll just give you another *big hug* ;)
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Date: 2003-12-14 03:32 pm (UTC)And yeah. I know I am nice looking, but I also know all the rest of the crap that goes with me. It is a touchy subject (That Bitch! Who is she to say what she looks like. What a whore) but, I mean, I'm not horribly disfigured, I don't currently have any gaping wounds or skin problems, and I had attractive parents. Stands to reason I wouldn't be an ogre. And thank you, again.
*basks in the love and hugs back*
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Date: 2003-12-14 07:54 pm (UTC)The Bounty paper towel one made me laugh. Cuz when I first met my girlfriend over ten years ago, I never used them, but she has converted me to doing so. Go Bounty! We even buy the patterned ones now.